He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
