so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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