Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
