I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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