he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
