I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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