ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I have already put on my inside pants.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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