The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
