ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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