Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
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I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
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It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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