I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
