Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
