It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
