I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
