I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
