i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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