Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
