Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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