How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
