she was so not down for the gang bang
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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