You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
