you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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