Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
