Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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