i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Pants are for mortals
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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