No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Boobs speak an international language.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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