But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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