Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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