You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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