I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
