theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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