we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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