just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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