I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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