He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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