Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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