So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
In America we eat man semen.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
