im about as happy as oj after his trial
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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