I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
