and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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