Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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