just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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