some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
