the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
