Dual....:-)
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
