office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
