First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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