Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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