you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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