Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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