I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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