my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
