Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize