no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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