Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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