what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
