I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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