I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
