dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
