Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
