i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
