Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
