there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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