just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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