At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
