OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
