Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
