just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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