Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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