There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Randomize
