I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
